Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

The technical steering committee on our project has all of the most incompetent devs on it. How the hell does that happen...

Why are people so unfriendly in IT? See the comments for examples.

I wonder if Apple has started doing more outsourcing recently. Would explain software quality going to shit.

Code is a good way to see through people's masks into their true selves. People who don't document stuff and aren't bothered by other people being confused deep down don't give a shit about other people. People who jump on all the latest hipster trends are deep down insecure and trying hard to fit in.

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Currently I'm having a hard time to focus on coding at work, I'm even considering if I have some mental disorder as TDA, although I don't know if I can consider it, as I don't have the same difficulty to focus on other things, even coding other stuff like uni courseworks is fine. Besides focus was never a problem for me. I can't really complain about my job, it pays well, nice people, just don't like one manager there. In doub if I'm just tired of working on my company or if I became a lazy bitch. Did you ever experience it too?

I don't like the personality of a lot of security people. They're the kind of guys who would show up after you've built a mansion, point out some issues with the tiling in the bathroom, and then act like they're goddamn saviors and the most important people on the project. Get over yourselves you goddamn wankers, and grow out of the 1337 hax0r 13-year-old phase. (And because you fuckers are so damn predictable, I'm not saying it's not useful work, just that you should get your heads out of your asses personality-wise, and stop overestimating your worth.)

People confuse skill and experience way too often. I've held introductory programming courses at a local community college, and some of the students wrote better code after two months (less buggy, faster, better factored, shorter, easier to extend) than some people with 20+ years of industry experience that I've worked with. People who lack skill but have lots of experience tend to lack insight about their lack of skill too, which makes them a pain to work with. I've also noticed that there's an incredibly strong correlation between the way people write and the way people code. Never hire native English speakers who write sloppily.

I was tech co-founder in a start-up. We had investment from some big names. It failed. 11 months ago, I had to get a job. CTO of a startup. I spent most of my time managing and working with remote teams in India, Romania, Africa. I was promised shares and my salary to go to a normal amount once the funding comes through. This was meant to have happened 8 months ago now. Most weeks the job is 100% virtual. No real people to talk to face to face. Constant conference calls. I'm feeling down from this.

Productivity has taken a shit since everyone started sucking web dick recently. It's like all the lessons about good responsive interface design from the 90s and 00s has been forgotten. If your interfaces lags in 2019, you should be ashamed.

I'm the only one who hates Redmine and his confusing user experience?

Companies need to realize that by allowing sloppy deprecated shit in the code just to appeal to bad developers, they're scaring away good developers. Never solve problems for the ball-of-mud coders who never read any documentation and get pissed off at their hastily thrown-together crap being blocked. It's not worth it. They will never contribute anything worthwhile anyway.

I get sad when people post comments and random parts turn bold and/or italic because of underscores in identifiers and stuff, and then they never go back and fix it (if they can figure out how). Have a basic sense of pride. You're doing the same thing with your code too. :'(

We just transitioned from an office with cubicles to an open layout with hot desking where each seat is first come first serve. I've put up with it as long as I can, but being a developer in those conditions is crazy. Am I over reacting?

Dear fuckers at Google/Android. I hope one day you will have to use your own goddamn shit platform for answering to users for your own publicated apps. 350 max capped characters for a dev answer against a 1200 word user comment, really nice, this is fucking fair. Fuck you. The plebs are writing a fucking a novel as an app review and I have to shorten every fucking sentence to fit into your fucked 350 characters. I cannot even give an answer to all the questions/problems. Saying Hi username? Saying a simple Best Regards at the end? Good luck with that, let the fucking dev rot in his place.

There's lots of comments in our codebase where it's obvious that someone pressed Enter on the last line, the editor inserted another comment line, and they just pressed Enter again to get out of it and never went back. Fucking idiots. Go back and fix up your shit.

Docker fucking sucks unless you're a hosting provider or the like. There, I said it.

If I knew how frequently I'd have to work with Indians, I'd reconsider majoring in computer science and either become a CPA or go into the trades.

I just want to sit back and watch it all burn while I collect my paycheck. Fuck it.

How many of you have just decided to be like, "fuck it" and switch to a new development job a year into your W4 employment with a company because the collaborative process is such a shit show?

Today in a code review I told one of the remote Indian Java developers to use platform independent paths when specifying a path to a private key file and provided a link to documentation illustrating an example so they don't come back with questions. Sometimes it really seems like on shore developers just babysit Indian developers to prevent them from shitting over the entire project. Fucking globalism in a nutshell.

I am sick and tired of JavaScript taking over the world of programming. I hate that my job that I have been doing for decades is being invaded by graphic designers who have absolutely no clue what programming is about. I hate that I am being forced to use stupid technology that puts me into bondage and ends up with shitty projects with shit performance. Fuck browsers. Fuck JavaScript. Fuck Node.js. Fuck Angular. GIVE ME MY JOB BACK AND LET ME DO C++ PROGRAMMING I AM SICK AND TIRED OF WEBSHIT. I HATE THE WEB. I HATE IT

I realized why I hated Javascript. Not because of Javascript - code is code. Don't care in what I write.. BUT. Inherent messiness of Javascript enables a whole 9th circle of hell of messy plugins being written by minute. Or brilliant plugins with messy docs. Idk, maybe there is something wrong with my mind... but I really am having a hard time UNDERSTANDING what the WRITER meant to SAY. Really, how did CS come to this? It rests on fucking MATHEMATICS, the most clear and pure thing we have, for GODS SAKE, and we managed to create a UNIVERSE of completely unintelligible gibberish which GROWS faster than anyone can imagine with it. WTF?!

Making it at my company seems to be more about personality than skills. You can be a complete dumbfuck, but as long as you have that "I am a well-adjusted sensible normie and I demand to be taken seriously" vibe about you, you make it. People need to learn to filter past that shit and listen to the submissive maladjusted poorly-clothed autists instead, and tell the unskilled normies with zero personality to fuck off.